She is everything
by MsBooknerd1
Summary: What if, in the episode "Utopia", Martha had said that Rose was a bimbo, instead of a blonde. Their following conversation, with Jack as a conciliator. One-shot. Part of my series of one-shots that shows how much the Doctor misses Rose Tyler.


**A/N:**

**What if, in "Utopia", Martha had said that Rose was a bimbo instead of a blonde. Because I think we can all agree on that that's what she really thought.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Doctor Who-ish. I am but a humble teenager who wouldn't be able to pay much even if BBC bothered to sue me.**

"Not if you're blonde," Jack said, easily bouncing off Martha's energy and then immediately regretting saying anything. Even if he _was_ angry with the Doctor, he didn't want to insult Rose.

The Doctor heard the two of them speaking of what wasn't their business, and was prepared to turn around and scold them when Martha said:

"Oh, she was a bimbo! Oh what a surprise!" her voice filled with both jealousy and hostility.

The Doctor stopped dead in his tracks. _His Rose, a bimbo, was she?_ A girl who had both saved the universe and himself, who was more brilliant than anyone he had _ever_ met, was nothing - an ordinary human without brains?

"What did you say?" His voice quivered with barely contained rage. "_What_ did you call her?"

"I called her a stupid blonde. Problem with that?" Martha knew it wasn't fair to call a girl she hadn't even met stupid, but she couldn't contain the feeling that he was exaggerating Rose's brilliance and overlooking Martha's own. Besides, she wanted to know what made this blonde girl _so_ special to the Doctor.

"Yes, actually. Rose Tyler is not only the most clever girl I have _ever_ met, she was also one of the bravest. And I don't think, Martha Jones, that you have done enough to judge her!"

His voice clearly expressed just how hard he had to fight to keep The Oncoming Storm inside.

Jack was speechless. He had never ever seen the Doctor this angry. He hadn't fully realized how much Rose had changed the Doctor. And he thought for the first time that the Doctor was in pain. Very much in pain. He could see it in his eyes. Rose couldn't just be in a parallel universe, she had to be gone. Forever.

"Oh really? What has she done that I couldn't have?" Martha asked angrily.

"Martha, not a very good topic if you want to win this argument," Jack said, trying to convince her that she couldn't compete with Rose Tyler.

This shocked the Doctor. For Martha to suggest that the things Rose had done anyone could have done was to him completely impossible. He couldn't understand how Martha thought that she could have done everything Rose Tyler did.

"Alright then, if you think that you could have done the things Rose Tyler did, answer me this: could you have stood by my side, facing _any_ catastrophes, and yet never doubt that your choice to stay with me? We were trapped under a black hole, with no way out, and _she told me_ that it wasn't so bad to be stuck with me."

Martha tried to protest, but he gave her a look which made her falter. Had Rose really always known that she would stay with him, no matter what happened, and never doubted him or her choice? _Ever?_

The Doctor remembered what Rose had said just before the Void had opened. _"I made my choice a long time ago… and I'm never gonna leave you."_ If only. _If only._

"But Doctor, what happened? What _really_ happened? Because she can't just be in a parallel world. You wouldn't be like this if that was the case." Jack quickly said before Martha could protest. And he really wanted to know what happened. Because the Doctor was broken. Martha couldn't see it, but Jack could. Martha was just, well, painkillers. She obviously dampened his pain, but she couldn't be Rose.

The Doctor's entire body seemed to deflate at this. He put his hand in his pocket, to draw strength from something they didn't know was there. Two rings, fused together, to create the symbol for 'forever'. He could have given it to her when they were eating cakes with edible ball bearings. He could have given it to her when he took her to planet Earth, at the age of the dinosaurs. When she said _"Forever"._ But he didn't. Oh, how regretted that he hadn't done it.

"I lost her." His voice was cold, but the look in his eyes was heartbroken. He could have been the poster boy for "miserable".

"The Battle of Canary Warf. The leaver that kept the Void open was slipping. And she let go. She let go to save the world. She… fell." The Doctor couldn't see Jack or Martha, he could just see a blonde girl, dressed in black. Saying the words _I love you._

"Of course, her parallel dad caught her as she was falling, but she is on the other side. She's not just living on a parallel world, Jack. She's _trapped_ there. The walls have closed." His voice was very matter-of-fact. But it ripped him apart inside to know that he could never ever see her again. Funny words, never ever. Very cold. Very, very hurtful.

"Do you understand now, Martha? Could you _really_ have done all that?"

Martha just looked at him. "I'm sorry. I didn't know how much she meant to you. And I suppose that if came to a choice between you, or my family, I would choose my family. I'm sorry." And she really was.

Jack was filled with guilt. If he had only thought before he made the "not if you're blonde" comment. Then the Doctor wouldn't have had to bring all this up.

"And I just want you to know two more things." the Doctor said. "A: I will defend her until the day I die. And ..." The Doctor hesitated. He hadn't actually said this out loud. "She's _everything_."

Everyone realized the truth in that statement. Because that was how it was. The Doctor wasn't in love with Rose Tyler: she was literally _everything_.

"Let's go."

The Doctor would make sure that Rose Tyler would get the respect she deserved, especially from two men that owed her their lives.

**Okay, what do you think?**

**I'm trying to keep the Doctor as non-OOC as possible. And, yes, I am going to be one of those desperate people who says: "Please _review_! **


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